The rise of the Sharif family allegedly began with stealing manhole covers of gutters, and continued to the point where Pakistan was left an open sewer, its coffers emptied of cash. The stepping stone of their great success was their love affair with the army. This has been consummated multiple times, and Pakistan has paid dearly for each consummation, with its army being progressively dirtied.

This affair began when Gen Jillani [then Governor Punjab] first met Mian Mohammad Sharif [aka Abbaji], the patriarch of the Sharif family, and they immediately fell in love with each other.

It was about the time that Nawaz Sharif was made finance minister in the Punjab Government [by Governor Jillani] that I went to the Governor’s House to meet Maj Yasub Dogar, my friend and course mate, who was Military Secretary to the Governor. Among other things, I asked him how Nawaz came to be picked as a minister when he was considered especially dull by most of his classmates.

Dogar burst out laughing and said, I wouldn’t believe what happened. Apparently, Governor Jillani had begun constructing his private house and asked his friend Maj Niazi [who was then Secretary of the Services Club Lahore] if he could find someone to oversee this construction. A few days later Maj Niazi walked in with Abbaji in tow and introduced him to the Governor as a man who was both able, and most willing to do the job.

When the Governor was about to make his selection for the Punjab cabinet, Abbaji moved in to encash his IOUs, and obsequiously asked the Governor if he would perhaps consider making his son a minister. Shahbaz Sharif, who was the son overseeing the construction of the Governors house, was therefore asked to get into his sherwani and report for taking oath in a couple of days. But a distraught Abbaji walked in instead and begged the Governor to spare Shahbaz because without him his business would collapse. He pleaded that Shahbaz be switched with Nawaz, so that Punjab was allowed to collapse instead.

And so a star was born.

And the star never looked back. His next major step on the ladder of success came, as rumour would have it, when Mrs. Zia ul Haq visited the lair of the Sharifs and Nawaz Sharif pushed a bundle of Rs one crore towards her. Feigning hesitation, it is said, as she secured the cash, she expostulated that this was “really too much”, while Nawaz immediately replied: “but Apa-ji, when an elder sister visits a younger brother, this was the least he could do”! This was the only time that Nawaz did not need notes to read out a reply.

From that day on, Zia ul Haq considered Nawaz Sharif as a son, which brought the doom of Pakistan that much closer.

As the power and majesty of the Sharif family grew, so did the ambitions of Nawaz Sharif. Eventually, these were directed by Nawaz to becoming richer than the next man, and towards getting into a position so that he could degrade the Pakistan Army to the level of Punjab Police, subverting it through bribery and intrigue as tools of choice.

His “success” in achieving his first goal was rapid, though he had a few hitches in reaching his second. Generally, the High Command of the time had a remote awareness that large scale corruption at the top would undermine national security. And that was a time when ensuring national security was considered important among the army brass.

And so, when Abbaji sent keys of a BMW to win the affections of Asif Nawaz, the short- tempered [and spotless] Army Chief, he gruffly returned the same and also suggested where Abbaji could shove them.

This was humiliating enough, but all was lost when Nawaz Sharif tried to oust Musharraf through an internal army coup. Like a nifty wrester he tried a “dhobi patka” [an over-the- shoulder flip] but instead of landing on top, landed under Musharraf. It took all the horses and men of the King of Saudi Arabia to rescue him.

But he recovered and came back as Prime Minister. But then came the Panama Papers to sink his fortunes. Gen Bajwa and the Judiciary joined hands to oust him and then sent him to jail. But this time the U.S. came to his rescue when Bajwa was ordered to change his mind, which he dutifully did.

For more than two years now the High Command has been trying to put Humpty together again, and in the process, Nawaz Sharif’s second great wish seems to be coming true. The Pakistan Army has made great strides in sinking itself to the level of Punjab Police.

Finally, on Jan 8, 2024, the combined efforts of a Hafiz, a Qazi, and a Raja, presented to Pakistan, a thoroughly white-washed Nawaz Sharif, all ready to become their country’s Prime Minister again, and to have a fourth go at its exchequer. With equal zeal, they have tried to sink PTI and disqualify Imran Khan from the electoral process.

By so doing Gen Asim Munir, Qazi Faiz Isa, and Sikander Sultan Raja combined to give a dynamic new definition to both patriotism and to integrity. But for their incompetence, their success would have come early and would have been complete by now. Yet as matters stand, this is by no means a certainty.

One often wonders what occasions the birth of such heroes and why we are singled out to suffer such a recurrent profusion of them!